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Dear 40 Entry #3

Well I could call the curse broken this year. I had a wonderful Birthday.
I am thinking that somehow I had myself a 30's mental headlock.. that I was possibly keeping myself chained up? Food for thought anyway.
My mom made me dinner, my girls made me cards and gave me Ginger candy. My sister and her brood of 5 ( -1 who was studying) came over to have Black Forest Cake and coffee.

It was a good visit. We dressed up the dog and we laughed.
Time now for moving forward.
Every day I am going to do something that makes me uncomforatable. I got the idea from my Life Mate who had done a year of this the year before we met.
I am an introvert, very happy to stay quiet and to watch, but as I had noted before I wasnt always that way,
I used to sing, I used to laugh and never ever felt invisible. How can you be invisible when your hair is as flaming as the sun. Yet, somehow over the last couple decades I have become quiet, scared an invisible.

Have you ever felt that, that when you open your …

Dear 40 , Entry #2

Happy Birthday to me , Happy Birthday to me, I feel exactly the same , Happy Birthday to me.

 Its here. I am 40. About an hour ago.  A little anti climactic actually.  Finding it hard to write today, yesterday it was all pouring out of me. Maybe Today I dont have to say too much

Hello 40,

Dinner with Family tonight. Suprised and delighted by dinner with my love last night. White table cloth dinner with my favourite wine in our camper van. The MOST romantic thing that has ever happened to me for certain. You dont have to get it.

Hello 40 this should be a good year. Here's to us.

Dear 40, Entry #1

In 25 hours and 4 minutes I will  turn 40

Growing up, I loved my birthday. The Christmas season was big in my house. My Dad's birthday was December 3 and that was the kick off to the season. We would eat black forest cake , listen to Elvis and Boney M sing their Christmas tunes. It was a very happy time.

Of course a week later it would be my birthday.  My parents always made sure that I had a birthday seperate from Christmas. It was always full of people, friends, anything that I wanted. I was their little darling. And frankly I knew it. I fail  to see how anything could be wrong with knowing that you are really and truly loved.

December was the most magical month. We did it all.

December of 1995 was a little different. Dad was diagnosed with Cancer and it all happened in December, right before my 16th birthday. I was shocked, devestated. My hero, this wasnt possible.

Nothing really changed though, it was a slow mover and he seemed fine. He took my best friend and I to  a concert…