Let's start at the beginning, its a very good place to start

Well , how life does shift when I forget to write for a while.

We have been moving forward on our nomadic quest. D and I got our van, she is amazing and her name is Syrah, We are focused daily on making all the little imporvements that are needed to make her our permanent home.

We have also been hyper focused on working our heads off and getting as much money as possible. This comes with its own sets of fall out. I am grieving it seems the time that I am used to having together. We knew going in that this summer would be this way and nothing to be done for it, but it seems I am struggling. Frankly its my problem and no one else's.

In an effort to apparently be an ass I attempted to make it HIS problem last night when I couldnt sleep and he and a friend had the audacity to stay up later than I did and keep having fun. I frankly even went out when the cat yowled and basically scolded D like it was intentional to squish the cat's paw by mistake.

I had bitch mode going on and it only got worse. I insisted on losing another hours sleep to hash out a conversation that acutally didnt need to happen. I was like a tea kettle. Work frustrations, family frustrations and right on the heels of a perfect Canada day where we took our Van on an adventure. You see that is what set me off, a taste of the life that we want and then slammed back to the usual rat race of our lives.

Ok... full stop, pause, screech, hold up, whoa nelly.

This  cant happen. I know how this goes. I get into a tailspin and all spun out. Before you know it I am again failing to enjoy the journey I am on. I start eating bad food, sleeping all the time and generally exuding all the signs of depression and agnst because I am wishing away the time that I have.

This is part of the process and the adventure and I have become in the last few sleepless hours very well aware of the fact that I am neglecting to observe the adventure. Just holding on so hard to the end result, forgetting to emjoy it.

We are going to look back and say ok. This is where it started, this is how hard we worked and this is what we earned. What kind of pride can we take in that if we simply had it handed to us.

No, this was about me. A pent up Ginger who maybe is a little tired of working so hard without results. So, as I had noted before it is about the wallet, the waist and the soul.

This year was suppoed to be about all three. It is now July and I have yet to begin. I guess beginning where you are is the best place to start. What I can do today is to take a deep breath, lead with kindness and try hard to have a little empathy that I am not the only one who is feeling the pinch of the crazy shedule

To incorporate time for me. That is the soul. Maybe actually get the book written. I think that is going to happen. I think it all actually starts today.

- Ginger.


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