I have spent a few days feeling really not well. Not physically well as there is major smoke in BC from all the wildfires and not mentally well as I am having a crisis about my job.
I keep wondering if this job that I love is worth it. Do I love it, or do I just love the fact that I have it and I am the boss. I have only ever had two passions, two things that I have wanted to be when I grow up . I wanted to be a writer and I wanted to go into medicine.
I love the food industry, I love the people and the feel of the speed and the pressure. The end of the day when you know that you have fought a war and won. But lately, it is feeling like too much. I am working 11 hour days which was not the plan. I am putting out fires on my days off with the people who are working there and I am constantly worried about things like labor and sales and all the things that made me want to leave the bank in the first place.
At the bank I simply gave in to the feeling of " well I am going to fail …
So I run a store, a fast food restaurant which is a far cry from my days of working in a bank. I love my job and I am alot happier doing this than I was doing that.
It is lonley at the top of the mountain, It seems I can not make anyone happy, everyone picks at everyone and making one person happy just makes another one irritated and pissy.
I suppose I am just having a day with it today, I am wired not to know how to not succeed. I really am the person that if given a target I take it to heart if we dont hit that target, plus any customer concerns feel so personal.
I have been ready books on leadership and been trying to go one day at a time but my own cloud of desperation and need looms over my head. I NEED to do well so that I can get raises, make more and get closer to my life in the RV with Dave. I need to accomplish what I told them I can.
That is the thing that makes me wake up in the middle of the night, How do I get this place to run as a well oiled machine? How do I get peop…
Just want to put in writing what I hope to accomplish over the next year. I will only from my income pay the mortgage which is 2000 a month . In a year's time with all the various income sources I should be able to pay off my credit totalling 7300. The goal is to be debt free by next July. 50 punds less by next July and have had at least one more raise by next July . I will do this by not spending, I do not have any extra income when you look at the numbers anyway , and by sticking to a healthy food plan. I am an emotional spender and eater . Believe me right now I want to strap a bag of chips on my face so badly you would not believe it . I am 38 and I have no savings. Not a penny. There is actually .06 cents in my savings account . I was a financial advisor for 10 years. I know how to do this it simply isn't going to be easy . My salary is low at 36000 a year but I believe I can do this . One dollar at a time.